New babies...

Ok... in all honesty I am still somewhat ticked off with the latest referral fiasco... with being so close to our LID... but I had to pop on here to congratulate 2 families that I have 'known' through this whole crazy wait...

Kelly and Jay on getting Jia
Jan and Mike on getting Leilani...

and you could say that because of Jan and her website... I had happened to come across a lady who is getting her daughter in China as we speak and she lives in the same town and we didn't know each other but have since 'talk' via email... hopefully we can get together one day and I can pick her brain...
Once again... congrats to both families...

Sandcastle for rent... slight update...

Before I start on my own dribble this is a little update on the 'Field of Dreams' in Palm Bay, Florida... can't wait to see the sport area for the kids up and running and yes Denise and Mike... can't wait to see it come more then a 'dream' but a reality for all the kids... click on the link...

http://www.floridatoday.com/article/20091120/SPORTS/911200326/1002/SPORTS/Athletic+facility+for+disabled+gains+support

and the website... 'Field of Dreams' (click here) - at least show your support for the kids...

Oh my... I am SO trying to not think of all the rumours etc going on... we are within stones through of our LID... and then you get the latest rumours of no referrals in November... oh why, oh why... I am trying to not think of it all but can't help myself... I try to keep my mind from it but (like alot of other people) this is something I have wanted for SO long... to adopt... had I thought in the beginning that all this was going to happen. I wouldn't have done this... or at leat maybe I would have but would have been able to set myself up for it... please, please, please let there be some concrete news... I try to not be negative but just can't seem to help myself at times... it just gets to me... So, I have decided that I was going to build myself a sand castle... put my head right in the middle of it... there is some room for rent in my sandcastle if you want to come stick your head in there...

We had been hodging and podging as to whether or not we would be able to take this trip to Costa Rica in January for 7 days... when Mike asked me if we could possibly go and that nothing was going on with China... I just said 'Tell them we are going"... forget it... I am off... so, I called the agency and they said 'IF' a referral came along that they would get hold of me one way or another... anywhere in the world and we will get our referral... so, if we are Costa Rica and low and behold... there was a referral... (ha)... I don't really care if we don't get the phonecall... I just want photos and info!!! So, for now... I am off for now... wish I could tell you some more interesting news mum and family... I am just hoping that by the time I post this... some good news will come through... but to at least cheer this up a little... for your viewing pleasure... just 2 photos of where we will be staying in Costa Rica...

Stork move the feathery butt.

Can it be true??? Do I dare to pull the head out of the sand again? The latest rumour is that the stork is in the air... then again there is the rumour going around that the matching has just begun... so, I am trying to not get my hopes up to high... you could say that I am guarding myself until I really hear something concrete... I am also finding that I am stalking Rumour Queen again... I can say that I am so sick of the whole waiting thing... as everyone is... I am SO ready for March to be finished...
I recall 'stalking' everyone else and counting down their days until they went and got their babies/children from whatever country etc and now... finally it is my turn to count down... I am hoping that at least by December we will have the referral... then worse case scenerio... we will get a referral in January 2010 but knowing we are pretty much next gives me goosebumps... bring on those referrals before I go nuts...

Mississippi and Memphis

Another trip over and done with... quiet honestly, I was not ready to come back to Florida... then again... when I go away am I ever ready to come back?
I will say that while I was away and while I did have the lap top with me, I didn't really think much about the whole adoption thing... I didn't really think about work - at least until I had to come back home.
When we first got there... we pretty much spent the rest of the day chilling out... usually it takes me about 2 days to get over the Bull that is going on at work... as soon as we were settled and refreshed, we headed over to the Casino (where all the restaurants are) we ate at the 'Paula Deen Buffet' there... I have come to the conclusion... I can't eat her foods anymore... they are fried but her stuff just happens to be to fried etc for me, still, it is fun going there just once and trying stuff you would never have any other time.
I had a little gamble but nothing drastic... that was all I gambled - was the first night there... the other nights I spent playing with my photos... we had my mother-in-law with us and her and Mike would stay at the Casino and I would stay back at the room chilling out.
The next day we drove around town... we went to the the Hollywood Cafe for lunch, had Fried Pickles and Fried Green Tomatoes which were not overly fried and delicious... and we visited the town of Tunica and drove around to the towns of Independence, Hernando, Coldwater, Sanitoba - not that there was anything special there but it is fun to go to the towns to see what it is like... we did go to one town called 'Independence' and the day before they had just had a plaque of Ladybugs... the day before we were there, apparently there were ladybugs everywhere, the Antique Store that we were looking through still had a ton of ladybugs in there so I grabbed as many as I could while Mike was shopping and took them outside... I had them in my hair, on my clothes... maybe all the ladybugs are a good sign... we did stop at a General Store called 'Bucksnort's' that has been around since the 1800's but we just kept on laughing at the name of the store...
The next day we drove off to Memphis - which is only 20 mile drive away... we got there earlier then we thought and the first thing I saw was the 'Lorraine Hotel' which is the hotel where Dr Martin Luther King Jnr was assassinated... I will admit that I had goosebumps when I was standing there looking at it. The precise area where he fell was chained off and there is a wreathe is in front... the back of the hotel is the 'Civil Rights Museum'... we never got a chance to get there. We took a stroll down Beale Street, this street is more a night time thing... we stopped in the BBKing Blues Club to have lunch and in there we were listening to some Blues Music... we were down at the river's edge of the Mississippi River - it was so nice to sit down there and just watch the barge's going up and down the river... later we went to the SlaveHaven House which is something we were looking forward to going on a tour of... on the back porch is a trap door where the slaves went into to crawl under the house and through a porthole and into the cellar where there was a set of stairs built in there... the grand daughter of the original owner of the house had put some stairs into the cellar but the original cellars etc were still there... to go down there was amazing... alas photos weren't allowed... some people apparently say this house isn't real cause at night the slaves would leave this house and go down to the Mississippi River and take off to the Northern States and then onto Canada cause it was said that when the slaves hit Canada... there was no way that the 'law' could get them from the US, even when they were in the Northern States... so, some say this is all fake... ok... maybe it isn't 100% fact, maybe it is... who really knows but the main thing is that we learn something... on our way home we were going past Elvis Presley's house 'Graceland' and so decided to stop and take some happy snaps from the road... though we never went into the house since we were there last year, we had never seen the house from the road... ahhh never a dull moment...
Oh the weather was gorgeous the whole time we were there... in Florida you don't really get those gorgeous leaves changing colour, so when we were there I was finally able to see some of the trees changing colour... at one stage we had stopped at a Rest Stop and there were leaves all over the ground and so OF COURSE I had to get a nice little pile of leaves together to throw in the air... ha... I did that, but didn't know that in that pile of leaves was a pine cone that knocked me on the head... hahaha
Well, that was it for the quick getaway... next one to look forward to Washington DC in December to go to the 'TerraCotta Warrior Exhibit'... cannot wait... if I can't see the real thing then I will see the real thing in DC...
Last but not least... come on referrals!!!!!!!!! Still fingers crossed for a December referral but I have learnt to not get my hopes up to high... and I cannot wait to get my little bird Barack back from my friend tomorrow... how I have missed that little bird...

Field of Dreams... check it out

Just check this out... a friend Denise and her husband Mike have started getting a field going for kids with Special Needs - well, all kids to play at but it is going to be geared toward SN kids... you might want to check it out... apparently the breaking of the ground will start in 2010... check it out and if you can... show some support...
I am not usually one for pushing things but this is something worth fighting for...

Brevard County Field Of Dreams...
(click on this link)

The Big 4 - 0

Well, it has been and gone... the big one... the big 4 - 0... I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I am not in my 30's anymore... not that this is a bad thing...they say that life begins at 40 - well, time will tell... I know that by this time next year I will be having my 41st birthday with Shauna - oh that just sounds so bizarre... after waiting all this time... to have Shauna finally here... my prediction is though, that we will have our referral in December but worse case scenerio January... travel Feb/March 2010 - I just don't want to travel when it is cold... as much as I like the cold and want to experience snow... I don't want these things whilst in China... but onto my birthday... first I should say thank you to everyone who sent me messages on Facebook, IM, Emails, Cards etc it was so sweet of everyone to think of me on the day... thank you... I tried to answer each message but if I didn't, I apologize now... what did I do on the big day... alas... I had to work - I had to do that so I can go away on the 5th to Mississippi... so, gotta take the good with the bad :) The day at work was so nice... so stress free... though work was busy it was calm... there was a little lunch for me and a nice plain cake (which is what I like)... from the people at work I got the new Tink movie (as everyone knows I love Tink from way, way back) and of course... Shauna will like Tink :) The Tink of old... I got some smelly candles and a $50 gift certificate to the new beachside restaurant that is up the road from me... Mike got me a small digital photo frame, small tripod and is taking me to Mississippi/Memphis... I got a set of 'Ladies Tools', for so long I have joked around with Mike I was getting them cause I was fed up looking for a screwdriver, hammer, wrench etc so now I have my own and I love 'em and 2 books, they were from my mother and father-in-law... from my family I got 2 packets of Tim Tams, a packet of Darrel Lea's Liquorice (from a friend), Musk Sticks (only Aussie will know this one), some school photos of 2 of my nieces Madeline (who I looked after about 3 - 4 days a week until I left for the US when she was about 5) and that other precious little sweetie is Olivia... I can't get over my little Maddie is starting High School next year... I also got some photos of my other niece/nephews and I got this awesome note from my nephew Billy... to cute... from the whole family I got the Pandora's Bracelet (not the best photo) and there were charms of an angel (Guardian Angel), 2 heart charms from mum, a stroller/pram from mum, a Giraffe - my sister Janine told me that Giraffes have the biggest heart and so she wanted to get that for me... thank you Chummy and the other charm is of the Scorpio sign... yep, I was spoilt rotten...On the 4th I want you to remember my baby Barack... he will be 1 year old on the day... I am going to have to make sure I make him a little feast of Oatmeal, Rice, Romaine Lettuce, Green Beans - I am still sitting here having some anxiety about leaving Barack with someone and at their house the whole time (4 days) that we are away... seperation anxiety... first time I will have left my baby with someone that he doesn't know in a strange house... can I do it???So, once again... thanks for all the wishes...

Happy Halloween

Just wanted to say Happy Halloween to everyone... work is keeping me busy of late... hugs to you all...

A Full Plate

I remember the days when I was dropping by to see everyone (via blog of course) and what everyone was up to. I have noticed one thing that the closer we get to the big referral day (which I am hoping will be in December) that I have gotten busier... getting more hours at work to cover for Health Insurance. Mike and I were talking today of all the things we are going to need money for etc so we are going to have to get onto that... we like to have it all done before the big time so we don't have to worry about it...

Work has been crazy... one major drama after another... alas one guy that I work was bugging me the other day to the point where I just lost it in the worst way and let me just say I was SO mad I was cursing like a sailor and PMSing wasn't helping the fact. I can say that it was nice to finally tell this person to leave me alone and not push my buttons until I lose my temper... my boss pulled me aside and I just burst into tears... I told her that I didn't expect to come to work each day to listen to the crap I did... it was a whole gammit of things that was ticking me off and it came to a head... she is on my side and even said the whole 'China' thing wasn't helping (she has pretty much known me through the whole wait) - amoung of others things that was stressing me out... I just couldn't stop crying and for once... my boss just sat there and let me cry... I told her I wanted a vacation (hahaha) and she says "You have one coming" - I had to put that one in to get myself to laugh... then out of the blue I had just stopped walking and started crying again and said "I want my mum"... I think that no matter how old you are... you always need your mum... my boss had a chuckle and said "I will be your mum for now if you want"... I had said sorry to the guy the next day for cursing a storm at him but told him from now on... do not push my buttons until I get so mad... cause next time I won't take it again - next time I will say something to someone higher and he would be in big trouble... I am to old for this drama...
We are heading off to Tunica, Mississippi again in November... I cannot wait... going drive up to Memphis again and spend the day up there... Mike is taking me here for my 40th birthday so that should be fun... though the big day will be a few days before we leave... that is my present...
I have my little Barack keeping me busy... just discovered he goes crazy over raw Green Beans... he sees one and he nearly takes your hand off to get at it... gotta love this little bird... then again as I type this, he should be sleeping... instead he is peering at me to let him out...
Then there is the book I am reading that I can't put down... I haven't read in so long cause I hadn't found a book to really grab me and the one I am reading now is 'Empress Orchid' by Anchee Min - it was given to me.. I just can't put it down... though having said that... I do need to go get my eyes tested, PAP smear and my first Mammogram... ohhhhhh... need to get the 'speedhumps' tested... I tend to put all these things off... but I figured that if I am going to be going to China that I should have all these tests done... don't know when I will get the chance when we (finally) get back from China...Congrats to the Kreuer Family who got their daughter Anna Grace in China...and the Pina family got Allison...

We did go out yesterday to watch Marching Bands compete... that was interesting... and the night before we went to a local fair... of course we won a ton of silly stuff we ended up giving to young kids we passed... One of the rides at the fair...

Well, that is pretty much it for now... don't know when I will get back again or drop by to visit everyone but will try...

Shauna's Room

The fun mayhem I had of setting up the room...

Ok... the room is pretty much done... well about 90%... I forgot to put the picture of the Hutch on here... it is what I built on my own and I was so proud of doing it... the photo of me is not all that nice but you can see my new hair-do... I was fed up with the 'wait' and the whole referral debacle that I decided to get the hair done... I need a new fresh look... but here are a few of the photos of Shauna's room... the leaf hanging on the window was from my friend who just came back from Maine and she gave me this leaf and when the sun hits this 'Quacking Aspen' leaf... it kind of sparkles... I like this room cause it is more a little girl's room then a baby room... so Shauna can grow into it...
Now all we need is Shauna in there...

*****Slight update****** I should clarify something... I meant to write that I had put the Hutch together, not built it on my own... I just followed the instructions and screwed in the screws etc... still, I done it on my own... thanks Lisa for pointing me but then again, I may have started myself a building business :) Then I could have quit work :) Ummmm nice idea!!!

The Pity Party is Over...

Ok.. I had my pity party recently... hoping that the latest referrals were up to 29th March or more but they only got up to 28th March... ok, so it was only 1 day off what I was hoping but one can only take so much of this waiting. Though there are times that I have been ready to throw in the towel... I have remembered just how long I have been waiting and there is no way that I am going to give up now... I am so incredibly close... I knew that referrals were coming out and that they were late but I was at work when one of the girls I work with asked me how the referrals were coming along. Now, these girls are part of this just as much as me... they have been through the whole thing with me... alas... as soon as she said this, I started to cry - not a huge cry but the tears just silently dropped... then a customer was asking me about tomatoes and for the life of me I just couldn't look at this guy's face... once I started seeing the families get thier referrals, I cried but not a sad cry... I was just so incredibly happy for them, cause I know the wait they are going through... just a few of those I can think of that got their referrals... Jan, Rachel, Kelly, Doris and everyone else... I am just so over the moon for them...

The other day we did go to headed out to Kenansville and stopped by 'Forever Florida' and usually they aren't open on a Monday when we were there so I decided to stop in anyway and take a few pictures of butterflies etc... just our luck they were bringing the cattle in... the cattle out here are called 'Florida Crackers'... they were left here by the Spanish way back when... and have been called 'Florida Crackers'... the same with the horses and out at 'Forever Florida' it is one of the big places for thes Florida Crackers... Also I stopped off at the 'Christmas Tree' shop, I just love that place... I like to go to the back of the store and look at the little train set up they have in there... all the houses, shops, people and trains going around and around... one day Mike and I want to set up our own little train set... one day...We just bought our tickets for Washington DC to go to the TerraCotta Warriors... I am really looking forward to that... I have always wanted to see the real thing but alas I know I won't get there so to see the ones that have been brought over from China is the next best thing... just hoping it isn't to cold cause living in Florida... you don't really have that many winter clothes... well, I don't... on November 5th we are going to Mississippi and one day we will drive up to Memphis, TN and I have discovered a house from the days of the Underground Railway... love to see that... and yep, there will be plenty of photos when the time comes... for now I just go to work and do my thing...
They just had the news... we are to get a cold front coming through - so they say.... oh I am SO looking forward to that cold weather... ummm... cannot wait!!! This is all that has been really going on here of late...

Where did the referrals go?

I find I am refreshing the RQ site so much... the news is that the adoption agency is now back at work - apparently on a skeleton crew - as the rumour goes... of course I am analyzing the whole thing... I am wondering if the referrals will be mailed from China today and then since they are so late in getting sent out... does that mean they have already started on the next batch??? Did they do all of March or just up to the 29th March???? So, does that mean if referrals came out usually around the 20th that there will be more coming out this month??? Probably not... but hey... it is nice to dream and if I am going to dream, then I am going to dream BIG... to think... that there is a chance that maybe, just maybe they could be touching my file (finally) this month... I would be happy if we were to get a referral in December at the worst... and if we were to get a referral... I will plaster this house with a photo of little Miss Shauna...
This afternoon I am going to do a little work on the garden in front of Shauna's room... take out the plants in there that makes it look all ratty... and I bought some more Plumbago to put in there... so one day she will have blue flowers outside her bedroom window... I need to do a little repair job on the Hutch we bought a year ago when it was on sale...
I am finding that the closer we get to the referral - the more I hate this wait... you know she is so close but just a fingers length out of reach... grrrr... so, I am just going to keep busy with work and look forward to my big 40th birthday trip to Mississippi in November... it will be fun... and today... going to get the hair cut and highlighted...
Other then this... not a great deal going on... just waiting...

Where can you be?

Dearest Shauna...

It is now 11.39pm and I really should be in bed getting sleep for work tomorrow but alas... I am laying there and all I can think about is you... I have come to notice that the closer we get to our Log In Date (April 5th) the more nervous and harder the wait is... the wait just seems to be harder then what it was when I knew it was going to be a while before we heard anything... well, the latest rumour being that the cut off date could be the 29th March.. oh let's hope it is... I suddenly have this feeling that I need to rush around and clean and get things ready... but the thing that has been on my mind tonight was 'Where can you be?'. We started this crazy journey in November 2005... after a glitches and holdups we finally got your papers off to China and then we got the letter from our Agency telling us of our Log In Date of April 5th 2006... you could not even imagine my job - though at the time we were told an 8 month wait (approx) but who was to know that this 8 months would soon turn into 42+ months... the only thing I can come up with is that you just weren't ready for us yet and that we were meant to make lots of nice friends along this crazy journey, learn more about your country, orphans/orphanages etc we had our lessons to learn to get us ready for when we finally could go to get you in China. That is the thoughts that have been getting me through this wait... there have been the ups and the downs but I do know that once we finally get you and you become part of our little family that (I can't believe I am about to say it) this whole crazy wait would have been worth it. As I type this... What are you doing? Are you looking out a window? Is anyone talking to you? You are young... you wouldn't have any concept of what is about to befall you in the year 2010... just know that in a matter of months, you will have a mum and a dad who will be coming to get you very, very soon... your life will be like no life you have ever known... the love you will be given will be like nothing you have ever felt... we look forward to the day when we finally get to see you for the first time... we look forward to the day when you learn to trust us - the way a child would trust a parent, we look forward to cooking cakes etc with you, we look forward to sitting down and teaching you colours/words/numbers etc, we look forward to playing tea parties and drinking so much water out of tiny cups we need to pee, we look forward to showing you everything about nature/people and most of all we just look forward to loving you... maybe now I can go to bed and sleep and just knowing that in a matter of months this chapter of our live will be over and a whole new one is about to begin... sleep tight and hope to see you in my dreams tonight little Miss S...

Love forever... Mum and Dad

Where is that stork and get the tissues...

Where oh where can that stork be????? I am killing my refresh button 24/7 and it is killing me... come on already... well, not much I can do about it so just have to grin and bear it I guess... so in the meanwhile I have been busy doing stuff... looking at and pricing High Chairs... the one I want is a tad expensive but hey, if I just keep on looking around I will find a bargain... and it will still be the chair that I want... then there is the Pediatrician - I found one that has had experience with kids from China and other countries where the kids have been in Orphanages... she is a nice lady.. so everyone has been telling me... two of her patients are actually friends of mine... so, she said that she would accept Shauna as a patient and we are going to make an appointment to see her before we go - well, first I will make an appointment to see her to just talk, then before we go I will most likely go see her again, once we have Shauna's referral and her info well, I will go back and see her again... it is so nice to have found someone who understands... trying to do stuff while waiting for this crazy stork to get a move on... will it ever get here... maybe 2 days and I will be happy with that...
I hope that everyone in Georgia is ok and that the rain has stopped... at least... then everyone in New South Wales... the big Dust Storm that they are experiencing... never have I seen such a storm over there... RED DUST STORM IN SYDNEY
Then I saw this video online about a little girl named Chelsea who has Leukemia who went to see Beyonce singing in Sydney... this little girl didn't know it but she was called up on stage and I tell you... each time I go to explain this video to someone I get all chocked up... you have to watch it for yourself... turns out that this little girl is from the city of Newcastle where I was from... word of warning... get the tissues out cause you are going to need them...

Can it really be???? Another rumour

(I wonder where my file is? Files at the C.C.A.A)

Oh please tell me the vicious rumour is true and who keeps spreading these rumours that I refuse to listen to... ok... I sneak a little look... wait... truthfully... I can't stop refreshing my phone/computer - the latest bit of gossip that I never spread... is that they are likely be up to March 29th (let's hope this is true)... I never thought that I would finally be really counting down to my Log In Date (April 5th)... I was so use to counting everyone else's date... now, I am counting my own...

Yesterday when I first heard about it, I literally went numb... then I started to get giddy and giggle... just knowing we are so close... gee, if I am like this now, what am I going to be like when the time does come... though on the other hand... I am keeping myself guarded... I don't want to get my hopes up to high (something is telling me they already are) for fear of the worst case scenario and I will be ticked off...

(When I had my car detailed I had the guy put the car seat in and show me how to do it, I am sure he has done 1,000 of them, then he went to take it out and I told him to leave it there... save putting it in and out... someone else has fallen in love with the seat)

We had the ceiling fan put in Shauna's room... just a little more to go and the room is finished... next week I am going to 'window shopping' for a high chair... look around in the stores... find something I like and get it online somewhere where I can get a good enough deal...

(of course we need a Tink fan pull)

Today I called the Pediatrician that I am hoping to use... I am waiting to hear back from her to know whether or not she will take us on... I want to have a chat with her when we finally do get Shauna's referral... then I called 'Early Intervention' to talk to them... because Shauna wouldn't be SN then we have to wait until she is 18 months old to get her looked at to make sure all is fine... and when we get home I would have to put my name down to go on a waiting list... whether I need this, I have no idea but for a fee of $10 it doesn't hurt to have her go there to make sure she is on track with everything... I must admit... I am enjoying getting things together... makes me feel like I am doing something...
Mike and I are off to Tampa tomorrow for the night... need to just getaway... so hoping when I get home there is some good news coming from all the rumours...

Half The Sky

I have just found out that I have a new little girl that we will sponsor through Half The Sky - each month we pay $25 to help one of the little kids through the 'Baby Sisters Infant Nurture Program' her 'pet' name is Zhenzhen she was born in 2008 - what a precious little sweety she is... the last little girl we were sponsoring has since been adopted and all I know is she has a family somewhere in the US... I get somewhat attached to the kids I am sponsoring but at the same time it is nice to see the kids finally get their families... her nannie wrote a report saying...

"My Zhenzhen always smiles sweetly. We can always see her laughter in the infant nurture room. Her smile brings us happiness. I hope she can be like this forever. She is thirteen months old. Once she sees me, she will crawl to me. If I raise my thumb to praise her, she will smile at me while jumping on and on. Zhenzhen likes me to talk to her face to face. When I talk to her, she can make sounds like ‘yiyi, yaya’. Sometimes she can make sounds like ‘ba ba ma ma’. Zhenzhen can clap her hands to welcome and wave her hands to goodbye. When it is time for me to be off, I will say goodbye to her. Next quarter, I will pay more attention to helping her strengthen her legs to practice standing and walking"

It is so nice to get the reports as to how the kids you sponsor are coming along...

As for our LID... we are still 12 days from our LID and am hoping something happens soon... I am finding the closer we get to our LID the more 'nervous' I start feeling.... this part of the wait is most definatley worse then the previous months...